I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
