wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
