I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
