he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize