Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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