Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
