Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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