am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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