NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
