I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
