To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As shirtless as possible
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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