windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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