Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
