I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
