I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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