his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
