How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
