Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
