why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You took a bar mat shot.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
