my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
