i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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