:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
