found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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