Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
God I need to hump something, right now.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
