my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
