I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
