I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize