he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize