its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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