I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
