I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
