Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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