Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Boobs are out for the taking
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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