So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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