he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
