I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
