Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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