if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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