he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
