He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
