Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
