I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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