Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
