When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
