Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
