swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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