All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
