if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wish my penis had a tongue
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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