I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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