i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
