woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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