i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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