your parents love me but you hate me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think your dad took our porno
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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