i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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