IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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