I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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