Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
