I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
