check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize