in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
