don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
40s are totally the cure
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
