I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My vagina just clenched in fear
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