It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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